


It's Been a Long, Long Time (Coming)

by bangyababy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Boys In Love, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Endgame Fix-It, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Post-Endgame, Stucky fix it for THAT scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 06:19:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18585523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangyababy/pseuds/bangyababy
Summary: He says it'll take five seconds.Bucky hopes that he's made the right decision.He counts.Five.





	It's Been a Long, Long Time (Coming)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! THIS FIC CONTAINS ENDGAME SPOILERS. 
> 
> So anyway, I have seen Endgame and I am in my feelings so please enjoy this fix it. Thanks to by rm-knj for looking this over. 
> 
> Oh also, I'm taking back "It's Been a Long, Long Time," and the Russo'scan pry that shit from my cold dead hands.

Bucky watches as Steve checks the briefcase and promises Bruce he understands the directions. He watches as Steve turns to say something to Sam, gives him another reassurance, he’ll be fine, he says. 

Bucky already has a feeling what’s going to happen when Steve turns to him, but as soon Steve opens his mouth, he’s certain. 

“Don’t do anything stupid until I get back,” Steve says. 

It hurts more than he would like, but this is Steve’s decision, and he can’t stop him. Steve deserves this if that’s what he wants. “How can I?” Bucky asks. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Steve waits because Bucky is supposed to stop him, supposed to tell him to wait. But he doesn’t because he can’t take this from Steve, not after everything he’s lost. Everything they’ve both lost. 

“I’ll miss you,” he says. 

He watches as Steve’s face falls, and then he turns and walks to the platform. Bruce fires up the machine. He hears Sam ask how long it’ll take, and Bruce says five seconds. 

Steve disappears with one last glance at Bucky and Bucky hopes he’s made the right decision. That they both have. 

He counts. 

**1**

“Watcha doin’, Buck?” Steve asks as he comes to sit next to Bucky on the front stoop. 

“Nothin’,” Bucky mutters, scuffing his shoe against the pavement. “Just sittin’.”

“Well, whatta ya sittin’ out here for?” Steve frowns. “It’s cold out.” 

Bucky lifts his eyes from his shoes. “Then shouldn’t  _ you _ be inside seein’ as you were sicker than a dog last week?” 

Steve crosses his skinny little arms over his chest and glares at Bucky. “I’d  _ be _ inside if you weren’t sittin’ out on this stoop like a blockhead.” 

Bucky rolls his eyes and goes back to scuffing his shoes on the pavement. It’s quiet for a little before Steve asks. “So, can we go upstairs?I got a new marble and I don’t want it to get dirty yet.” He pats his pocket and Bucky hears the jangle of a few marbles. 

“Can’t,” Bucky mumbles. 

“Why not?” 

“My pa—” Bucky starts, but then stops because his ma said not to say bad things about his pa, that other people didn’t need to know their business. But then Bucky looks at Steve and he thinks, Steve isn’t other people so he says. “Pa is real angry right now. He’s scary. I don’t want to go upstairs.” 

Steve’s face instantly hardens and he stands up suddenly, and for a moment Bucky thinks Steve might march upstairs and punch his pa square in the jaw like he did to Henry O’Toole two weeks ago. But then Henry had hit back and Steve has lost his second tooth. Bucky’s pa is a lot bigger than Henry O’Toole.

“Steve,” Bucky says and Steve stops glaring at the window of Bucky’s apartment and looks at Bucky.

“Okay,” Steve says and holds out his hand for Bucky to take. “Let’s go to my house.” 

Bucky takes Steve hand and lets him pull him up as much as he can. “All right.” 

**2**

Bucky removes his hands from Steve’s eyes and sings, “Ta-da!” 

Steve blinks a few times and looks around the apartment. “Wow, Bucky, this sure is nice.” 

Bucky gives him the short tour of the living room, kitchen, and bathroom which Bucky was unbelievably lucky to find a place with a full bathroom for a reasonable price. 

“Wait’ll you see the best part,” Bucky says heading for the bedroom door. Bucky opens the door and feels the nerves swell in his stomach. 

Steve pokes his head and takes one quick glance at the two beds crowding the room and then turns back to Bucky, scowl already in place. “Bucky,” he starts. 

“Stop,” Bucky interrupts. “Just listen for a minute.” 

Steve sighs and nods for Bucky to continue. 

Bucky’s practiced what’s going to say a few times but what comes out is a little different. “I want to live with you. It’s not charity. It’s not a handout. It’s not pity or any of those other things you think this is. I  _ want  _ to live with you, you dumb punk, because you’re my best friend and I don’t want to live alone and I don’t want you to live alone, either. I want to come home and bitch to you about my day and I want you to do the same and I want to stay up and get drunk with you and listen to the radio and I want to hear you read out the newspaper articles and yell about the president and when I get up I—”

Bucky stops short because he’s said way too much and surely now Steve knows and he’ll never say yes, and he’ll never speak to Bucky again and Bucky can’t blame him, really. He just hopes he doesn’t tell anyone but Bucky knows it’s not right, and Steve always does what’s right, so he won’t begrudge him that either. 

Steve stares at him for a long time and  Bucky can feel the sweat sliding down his spine and then says, “You mean it?”

He can’t lie, not now. “Yeah.” 

Steve nods. He looks back at the beds and then back to Bucky. “Alright. But you can shine your own damn shoes.”

Bucky laughs, relieved and joyful. “Deal.”

**3**

“You know I would stay if I could,” Bucky says looking at the back of Steve’s head where he’s seated on their couch. 

“I should be going, too,” Steve repeats for the fifth time that week. “You shouldn’t have to—” He stops and Bucky can hear the sob waiting in the back on his throat. Bucky sets the rejected application down and walks over to the couch. He sits down next to Steve, placing a hand on his head, fingers gliding through that golden soft hair. 

“I know,” Bucky murmurs. 

Without warning, the sob escapes and Steve turns his whole body into Bucky and Bucky just pulls him close, let’s him cry. 

“I don’t want you to go,” Steve cries. “I know it’s wrong and selfish but I don’t want you to go.” 

“I know,” Bucky tells him again, running a hand down his crooked spine. “I know.” 

“It isn’t fair.”

“I know.”

Steve cries himself out, tears and snot soaking into Bucky’s shoulder, but Bucky wouldn’t move him for the world. He keeps rubbing Steve’s back and murmuring whatever he thinks Steve needs to hear right then. Steve settles slowly and when it’s clear he’s gotten a hold of himself he tries to pull back, Bucky keeps him there, because he’s selfish, too. 

Steve doesn’t try to move again, instead, he inches a little closer. It’s an invitation if Bucky has ever seen one and he takes with only a moment's hesitation. He lays back on the couch, Steve half on top of him. Steve brings his arms up to rest on Bucky’s chest, and Bucky wraps his around Steve’s waist. 

It’s a long time before either them speak, Bucky trying to memorize the feeling of Steve in his arms. Eventually, Steve asks, “You’re gonna come back, right?

“Of course.” Bucky almost chokes on the promise. And then, because he’s feeling bolder than he ever has, he drops a kiss onto the top of Steve’s head. “I’m with you ‘till the end of the line, remember?”

“Yeah,” Steve says softly, just before he falls asleep. “Till the end of the line.” 

When Bucky wakes up in the morning, Steve is gone. 

**4**

Bucky enters the tent just after Steve, his hands clenched by his side. “What happened?” he demands as soon as the flap is shut like that will offer them any real privacy. 

Steve gawks. “You’re asking  _ me _ what happened? Buck, I found you strapped down to a table.”

Bucky flinches but presses on. “Yeah, but I’m not suddenly twice my size. What did they do to you?” 

Steve blinks at him, mouth opening and closing like he’s not sure if he should answer or deck Bucky. Bucky doesn’t see where he gets the right to be anywhere near as indignant as he is, seeing as Bucky’s not the one that shoed up to Nazi-occupied territory in a chorus girl outfit by himself looking like something out of a science fiction novel. 

“What did they do to  _ me _ ?”

“What, they fixed you all up but didn’t get to the ears?” 

“Jesus,” Steve exhales. 

“He ain’t here,” Bucky says. “He left a long time ago, so you’d better start fuckin’ talkin’.” 

Steve makes a noise like they’d heard a rhino make once at the zoo, just before it charged and that’s exactly what Steve does then. Bucky doesn’t even move, but he closes his eyes and waits for the blow but it never comes. Instead, Steve grabs him by the lapels of the jacket they gave him in medical and hauls him closer, pressing his mouth against Bucky’s. 

As far as kisses go, Bucky thinks this one really is more like a punch than a kiss, but he’ll take it and he’ll give as much as he gets. He grabs Steve’s face between his hands, turning their heads to deepen the kiss and Steve makes a little noise in the back on his throat and Bucky’s knees almost buckle at the sound. 

When they pull away, it’s not very far. Steve presses his forehead against Bucky’s and keeps his eyes closed as their breaths mingle in the small space between them. 

“I thought I lost you,” Steve whispers harshly. 

“Me too,” Bucky replies. “I’m sorry.” 

Steve hugs him then, a full bone-crushing hug like when he could never give before and Bucky wants to die feeling Steve’s arms around him like this. 

“Are you alright?”

“I don’t know.”

“Me, too.” 

**5**

Steve lays down next to him in the grass and looks up at the cloudless blue sky. “So you like it here?”

“Yeah,” Bucky says, and then after a moment. “It’s not home, but…it’s nice here.” 

He sees Steve nod out of the corner of his eye. “Yeah.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says suddenly and this time Steve turns to face him fully, eyebrows raised. “I’m sorry you can’t go home because of me.” 

Steve shakes his head and sits up and for a moment Bucky is worried he’s going to get up and walk away. Realize that Bucky wasn’t worth all this and he’d be right to, Bucky thinks. But then Steve his hauling him up and putting his big hands, always too big for his body on Bucky’s shoulders. 

“Look at me,” Steve says and Bucky does. “I’m exactly where I want to be.” 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.”

Steve lays back down and Bucky stays sitting up, looking off into the middle distance, trying to decide if he should believe Steve or not when he feels a touch on his hand. He feels Steve slide his hand into Bucky’s and give it a little tug. Bucky falls backward and turns to look at Steve. His eyes are closed, but he’s smiling up at the sky. Bucky turns and smiles, too. It’s not a perfect situation, not anywhere near it, but for now, it’s enough. 

They lay there for a long time, listening to the breeze blow through the grass and trees, the conversation ebbing and flowing as easy as the water in the stream they’re laying near.

Neither of them move their hands. 

**+1**

“Steve! Thank God!” he hears Sam shout and Bucky whips around. 

Steve is already moving down the steps heading straight for Bucky, he stops just before him, and Bucky’s breath catches in his throat. 

“You came back,” he whispers. “I didn’t think you were going to come back.”

“Neither did I,” Steve admits. It hurts to hear Steve say that, but he knows it’s true. 

“So, why did you?” 

“I thought it’d be okay. I thought I could still have a normal life. I thought we both could,” Steve starts. “but then you said you didn’t want to come.”

“When did he say that?” Bucky hears Bruce ask, but no one pays him any attention. 

“After all this,” Bucky waves his hand around, “I couldn’t go back. It’ll never be normal for me, Steve.” 

Steve nods. “I know.”

“But why did you come back?” Bucky asks again, more of a demand than anything. 

“I saw her,” Steve tells him. “I saw her through the window and I thought I had to do was walk in there, tell her I loved her, hope she loved me back. Ask her to marry me, hope she said yes. Settle down, have a home, kids, maybe have some of the life Tony told I should get.” 

“So, why didn’t you?” 

“Buck,” Steve says softly, his eyes big and pleading. “I already got it. I’ve always had it.” 

Bucky makes a choking sound in the back of his throat and throws his arm around Steve’s neck. “You fuckin’ jerk.” 

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispers, and Bucky can feel the tears on his cheeks when Steve buries his face into his neck. “I’m sorry I made you wait. I’m sorry I took so long.” 

“You better fucking be,” Bucky grumbles and he’s crying, too. 

“I’ll make it up to you,” Steve promises and Bucky believes him because Steve has never let him down. 

“Got the rest of our lives to do it, right?” Bucky asks and holds his breath because he  _ has _ to be sure. He needs to know that Steve is in this for real. 

Steve pulls back and takes Bucky’s hands in his, and squeezes them tight and smiles big and watery at him. “Till the end of the line,” he promises. 

“Till the end of the line,” Bucky repeats before jerking Steve closer and kissing him on the mouth. 

“Okay, what the hell was that? Was that a marriage proposal?” Sam asks.

“I think so?” Bruce replies. “Hey, are you guys engaged?” 

Steve and Bucky break apart and they’re still crying, but they’re laughing and Steve says, “Yeah, since 1938.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm on [tumblr](http://bangyababy.tumblr.com) if you wanna yell about this.


End file.
